I was getting ready to do a trust fall into a strangers arms when my good friend fear came to call. He sat on my shoulder and whispered all sorts of dreadful things into my ear.
Fear: Oh shit, this isn’t going to turn out well, you know.
Myself: Why not? She seems strong enough. I bet she eats her spinach.
Fear: No, what if her cellphone goes off, and she let’s you drop? Ouch.
Myself: Nice try. There were no cell phones in 1991.
Myself: Yeah, that seems legit. What should I do?
Fear: Honestly? Run.
Myself: My thighs rub together when I run, I hate being chafed.
Fear: Then just half-ass it. That’s what I would do, but what do I know? I’m just an emotion.
Myself: Why haven’t you used up your vacation time yet? Courage is ready to fill in for you.
Fear: What can I say? I’m dedicated to my job.
Myself: I can’t talk anymore, I’ve stalled this long enough.
Fear: Bitch, you’re crazy.
Myself: Okay, here I go.
Fear: I’m going to hurl.
Myself: I can’t believe I just did that. Although I admit, it was rather half-assed.
Fear: That’s my girl.